Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Super Sad Roxy Girl

All the laughter died when Roxy, the saddest pup in the world arrived. As soon as Roxy’s mom left it was like every sprocket in her brain exploded. My Lady was beside herself trying to calm her down. She kept looking at me for help.

“Hey, I can’t help the crazies. I’m a dog, not a shrink.”

I barked at Roxy to chill out, but that just made Roxy scream out some more. 
“She’s gone! Gone! Oh my god! Where did she go??? Where where where??? How could she leave me!!! Oh My God I’m Going to Die!! My Life is Over…”

And that went on for over an hour.

Little Penny sat trembling in the corner near me. “What’s wrong with her? Why is she so upset?”

I could only moan loudly. “She’s crazy in the head.”

Finally my smart Lady gave Roxy a little pink pill dipped in cream cheese. I could tell by the haggard look on my Lady’s face that now was not the time to think about scoring some cheese for myself. I’m not the crazy one here.

In time, Roxy calmed down a bit. Only after My Lady sang a bunch of songs though – really loud and seriously off key. When she started on the Opera I chimed in. Penny buried her head in the pillows. I think the pink pill finally started working, because it sure as heck couldn’t have been our god awful singing, but finally Roxy calmed down.

Roxy was totally fine the next day. Although she got a little distraught after Penny’s Mom came and took her home. I guess she thought her Mom was coming too. My Lady seemed strangely down after the little one left too, for some weird reason. She better not be getting attached to these pups!

I tried to cheer her up and sit on her lap but that just made her yell, “No Hamish! Not on my laptop!!”

Hey! Isn’t that why they call it a “lap top”? I may be big, but my backside fits the top of any lap. Believe me I’ve tried it – a lot – and it fits perfectly.

That night my Lady spent a lot of time in the kitchen, as she’s prone to do when she’s got something on her mind. I woke up from a nap sniffing the air smelling something mighty good going on. I padded quietly to the kitchen so as not to disturb crazy ‘Foxy Roxy’ as my Lady now called her.

I stuck my head and sniffed – woohoo! My Lovely Lady was making the best thing in the world! Yummy, yummy dog biscuits! Woo Hoo! I started drooling just standing there watching her pull a tray right of the oven, right in front of my nose…

“Hamish NO!” she yelled too late.

I slurped one up HOT HOT HOT and dropped it. HOT!

Damn if that dirty Roxy chick didn’t slurp it up and run off with my biscuit!

My Lady ran after the little thief, picked up the treat and started blowing on it. Then gave it to her. Gave it to HER. Just like that. My Lady gave my biscuit to that crazy bee atch.

I was so not happy.

Jumping on my bed, I put my back to the door. Who cares about any dumb biscuits anyway. Sniff. Moan. Sigh. Life sucks.

“Come here, Handsome.” My Lady came over and hand fed me a beauty of a biscuit, much bigger than the other one was. I savored every bite. She rubbed behind my ears and told me she loved me.

Life was good.

Then Charlie arrived.

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